Pulp Shadowrun, Part 1: Meet Meat
by SoCalExile
Summary: Another day, another corporate conspiracy.


**Pulp****Shadowrun**

Episode 1.

"I think the bastid's awake." the day security guard said, his voice was muffled through the glass and liquid.

"How can you tell?" said the night watchman.

"I saw 'em watchin' the trid."

"Did you call the boss?"

"Nah; I asked the old boss, when I took this job, what do I do if one of 'em wakes up."

"And?"

"And he told me it ain't happenin'. And you know what? After that bullshit the new corp pulled with our bennies, I ain't volunteerin' shit. They want to know about meatsack here, they can come down here and take a look at 'em."

The voices drew more distant as the men moved away

"I bet they don't even know we're here. Or at least, they don't care…as long as the computers tell them that we come to work on time and leave on time."

"They'll figure it out if they audit the books. But 'til then, I ain't remindin' them of crap as long as the pay keeps comin."

After a long pause, the day guard said, "Anyways, see ya in the mornin."

"Later Bill." The other man said.

The subject peered out of a half-closed eye. Bill had left after his shift, and now Dave was heading over to the Trid.

The room was a decent-sized laboratory before the buyout, with utilitarian lab lighting (which now was rarely used), utilitarian floors, utilitarian white walls, the back wall, it had a dozen vats filled with human-looking figures, all motionless. Well, except for one. A set of large, automatic double doors lined the wall to the left of the vats. Most of the lab equipment had been moved out to nearby rooms, and a few pieces of office furniture from the rest of the largely dormant building had been moved in. The two guards had made themselves a comfy little place to pull shift.

"Meatsack eh? Well I guess Meat is about all you are." Dave sighed as he looked at the '3V Guide'.

"Well let's see what's on tonight!", Dave said loudly, glancing over to Meat, who quickly shut his eye.

After a time, Meat awoke and risked another glance over to Dave, who by this time was already asleep. _Shadowbreakers _was on_,_ which looked different and less….explode-y…than the stuff that shows earlier when Dave gets here. But it still made Meat happy.

* * *

In the weeks that followed. Dave found an interest in Meat's situation. He, like Bill, began to catch Meat's catlike eyes open watching the trid, especially when there was a shoot-'em-up playing. Once he went to the restroom, while the intrepid hero was locked in hand-to-hand combat with some toxic villain, and came slowly out to notice Meat swinging his arms as if to save the hero himself. Then he got the idea to move the screen closer to the vats, so Meat could get a better view. This seemed to perk up Meat, and his creepy cat-like eyes were almost always open when the action shows were playing.

Next, Dave ran a set of speakers he scavenged right next to the fluid-filled tube, and 'it was on'.Meat was in full active mode when reruns of _Chase: Errant Knight!_ or _Toxic Hunter_ were showing. Dave got a chuckle at how the clone's legs would run when the hero was running, and his hands would work imaginary guns and swords during the fight scenes.

Occasionally he'd tap on the plasti-glass wall and try to get Meat to talk. He figured that the damn thing probably didn't know how to talk in the first place, much less be able to with all that fluid in there. Still, the long, boring nights went a little faster with the new entertainment. Plus he felt good that the poor bastard was alive and seemed to be happy.

The other meats in the vats never moved, except for the occasional twitch. Months ago, Bill had told him that the doctors, who were here before the buyout, explained that it was normal since the computers automatically, shock their muscles periodically to prevent atrophy. Still, they looked like they weren't going to win any fights.

* * *

"You know, we should let the poor guy out" Dave told Bill.

"You fuckin' nuts?!" Bill retorted. "Whatdaya think'll happen?! I'll tell ya; some corporate legbreaka is gonna get a pissed-off call from a suit who's complainin' about a blinking icon in his fancy eyes! Then they'll come down here and then we're out in the streets. Fuck that."

"Yeah, you're right"

"Damn right, I'm right!" Bill paused and explained calmly, "look…it's not like this bastid can go home wit' ya…Karol won't put up wit' it. The guy's never seen a toilet. He's never even walked and can he even talk?!"

A muffled moan came from the tube.

"Holy Shit!" Bill jumped back.

"HA! HE CAN TALK!" Dave said proudly.

Bill regained his composure. "Now look, we ain't lettin this get out. We ain't gonna argue about this. One retarded moan ain't the same as talkin'…alright?" Hel turned and grabbed his gear, "You mess this up for us and I swear….." He shook his head, turned and hurried out.

Dave took a long pause, then looked at Meat, "Well buddy, I guess we got some learnin' to do"

The vat moaned again.

* * *

Dave never really knew if Meat was truly talking or not. The older man would try to get him to repeat words and sentences, but with all the fluid in the tank, it was impossible to know how well he was enunciating. Even then, Meat was rarely motivated unless Dave used some new movie as a reward.

He searched the Matrix about anything that could be related to the old corp and its projects. He knew it was called Edgeware, and they were looking to shake-up the market by releasing a line of cheap, affordable bioware implants to the masses. It drew some investors and was on its way to an A-rating when Evo bought it out in a hostile takeover.

There was no mention of this building, however. It was technically in Redmond, near the border to Bellevue and dated back to the 2040's. Knight Errant technically patrolled the outside, but Dave was pretty sure any contract to protect the area around this place was cancelled during the buyout.

All of the old employees (except him and Bill, and a few daytime staff upstairs) had been fired or assigned to other facilities. Somewhere, Dave figured, there was a middle-aged biotech project manager wondering what happened to his research, and if Evo hadn't come around by now, then someone might have some hard feelings and didn't tell their new bosses everything. Nonetheless, Meat was perfectly happy with his existence as long they kept him entertained, and Dave was good enough as long as his pay was deposited every month.

* * *

Three days later, the outside proximity alarm went off during Dave's shift.

Dave pulled up a camera feed on the trideo.

"Crap"

Was it a company-man coming to investigate finally? Seemed unlikely at 0347 hours; plus, there were three of them, and they were looking behind themselves. A lot.

"Whoever you are, you know you aren't supposed to be here," Dave said to himself. He grabbed the security commlink, but paused before dialing for help.

He wondered if Bill was right about the corp not knowing they were still collecting paychecks since laying off 85% of Edgeware after the buyout. While he wasn't as paranoid as Bill, he hadn't been working this job as long.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Dave looked at the camera feed and noticed one of the intruders was sitting cross-legged with her head down. She had a cable running from her head into a device in her backpack.

"Shit." He dialed the commlink.

A female voice with a Russian accent answered. "Evo Security hotline, what is your status?"

"About to be breached! I have shadowrunners about to hack my door!" Dave yelled into the comm, "Officer David Kilby, number B32019!"

"Standby sir as I pull up your profile." The woman paused for a few seconds, "Our records indicate that you are no longer an employee of this corporation or its subsidiaries. Where did you get this number?"

"I'm calling you from the duty commlink!" Dave yelled at the woman. "Look, you guys bought-out my old bosses, a company called Edgeware, and now I work for y-."

"One moment" The woman said, and the line changed to a perfectly bland Neo-classical tune.

"Dammit." Dave dropped the commlink. The runners were no longer visible in the camera feed. He ran over to the bag that he carried to work and dug around for a minute or two, before pulling out his Colt L36 and racked the slide.

In his peripheral vision, he saw the lab door slide open and a small object sailed in.

Dave's eardrums nearly burst, as the flash bang exploded; his eyes caught the blinding flash. Daveswunghis weapon towards what he thought would be the door and squeezed the trigger. A long staccato burst of suppressed fire rang out in response. Pain blew through his legs, pelvis, and abdomen. His body went weak; he felt the cold lab floor hit him in the face.

He stayed there for what to him seemed like minutes before blacking out.

* * *

"Well _that_ was worth the four hours of planning before we left." The young girl said sarcastically.

There were three of them. Two were females; an elf in neo-native garb- feathers in her dark hair- and carrying a heavy pistol. The other was the young woman Dave had seen in the camera feed; petite, teenager, with spiky pink hair that was shaved on the sides. The third was a man, a little over 6' tall, muscled, and clad in a black armored duster with short black hair and black glasses. He carried a submachine gun in his hands and a katana in a sheath on his back.

"Remember_ I_ wanted to talk our way in" The feathered elf responded, as she walked in the room.

"I was expecting more resistance", said the black-clad man lead the group into the room.

They stopped and stared at the row of vats.

"What kind of sick, fucking freak show is this?!" The pink-haired girl said, staring.

The man's jaw dropped. "Oh...drek…"

"See what the corps do?!" the elf woman interrupted. "They take our land and our food and then our bod-"

"Oh…_shut up_, Pits!" The young girl interrupted. "You didn't mind the corps selling you that fake body odor you had installed."

"The name is Windfeather!" Pits shot back. "And you couldn't afford that pink hair if it wasn't for my _body odor._"

"HA! At least you could shave _your_ hair once in a while…..You know that's why we call you 'Pits' right?"

"Windfeather!"

"Oh please; like, your, great-great-great-great-times- great-great grandmother banged some half-Cherokee guy once." The pink-haired girl said as she rolled her eyes. "That doesn't count."

"He was Lakota Sioux!"

"NOT this drek _again_!" The man in the coat yelled, now facing out the door. "Pits, go make yourself useful somewhere. Jax-off; get the damn file!"

"It's _Jax-in,_ you dumbass!" Glaring at the street samurai and talking with her hands, "You know, like, jacks_ in_?" She paused, "like, what the hell are YOU calling _your_self now?" She wandered over to the tall box that served as the lab's mainframe and removed a panel near the back.

"Hard-Slab" The man shot back.

"Wasn't it Hard-Stab?" Pits asked.

"That was last week" Said the man.

"Should be Hard-Slap", Jax-in retorted.

"Hard-smack would be better" Pits stated.

"Isn't there someone named _Hard-something _already?" Jax-in asked.

"Hard Exit" Said the man. "She's a legend."

"If I had a hard exit, I'd take a laxative."

"_Fast-Exit_ would be a better name for him after that _run_ on the Stuffer Shack."

The girls burst in laughter.

"I'm going to be _Hard-Snap_ if you don't hurry up and get those files!"

"_Oh-kaaay_, like, your name doesn't need to be '_Jerk-O!'" _Jax-in took a cable out of her bag and plugged it in to a port on the server. She then pulled out a small pillow and began arranging her bag against the computer; slowly laying down with her back against it for support.

"Hurry it up!" he urged.

"I'm trying to get comfortable!" Jax-in snapped, "You don't know how much it sucks to wake up after and something has been sticking in your back while yo-."

"We don't have time for your princess drek!"

Jax-in shook her head in disbelief. "Drek…who talks like that?" she said, still talking with her hands. "You sound like one of those stupid trids", Jax-in said sarcastically, crossing her legs as she leaned against her bag. "You should really lay off the drugs; you're all jumpy and shit."

"_Ai_" The pretty woman agreed, "Wires and drugs are a bad combo, it makes you more of an oppressive male."

"Fuck it, your name is Jitters."

"Look bitch!" Jitters protested.

"Nope, nope, nope; that's your name. If Windsong isn't her name then-"

"WINDFEATHER!"

There was an uncomfortable silence before Pits, looking over at Jax-in said, "do you see this?" pointing back at the clones, "This is the kind of atrocities your wageslave family supports when they go to their corporate jobs and buy you corp-"

"BOTH OF YOU CUNTS SHUT THE FRAG UP!" Jitters lost his composure, and began whipping the Smartgun around, almost killing everyone in the room. "Do…your…fragging…job!"

"Oh-kaaay!" Jax-in protested. She laid her chin against her shoulder. In seconds she was conscious in the Matrix.

"Calm down" Pits said to him. "Look at this place, it's neglected; we have time." Pits examined the vats.

"Except the _one_ guard; and what megacorp keeps just _one_ guard? I don't like the smell of it."

"We need to know what is going on here!"

"Don't ask questions" Jitters continued, "we ain't getting' paid to be heroes."

"Well we know _you _lack dedication to social justice" Pits said haughtily, "I plan to do some _good_ for th-"

"Frag my life" The man mumbled to himself, hanging his head in surrender, "Mr. Johnson just wants the research files. We just have to wait for princess pink fauxhawk to do what we brought her here for."

Pits ignored Jitters, and walked around the row of clones, examining each one. Once or twice she stopped in front of one to knock on the glass with the muzzle of her pistol. Seeing no movement, she moved on.

Then she spotted the trid in front of Meat's vat. Her face twisted in confusion as she took a few quick steps over.

"OH. MY. GOD!" She gasped, staring eye-to-eye with Meat's amber slits. "Get over here!"

Jitters sighed, hanging his head back. "What's wrong with the world, _now_?"

"HE'S ALIVE!"

"He'll bleed out soon enough"

"No asshole! The one in this tank! He's looking at me!"

Confused, Jitters walked over to the glasslike vessel. The black-clad man looked at Meat. "What the frag is this thing, some kind of clone? He's all pasty-white and…ugh…we should put him out of his misery."

"WHAT?!" Pits stared in shock at the man, "You MONSTER!" Pits began looking for a way to open the tank.

"You're not seriously trying to let that thing ou—oh yes…you _are_…of _course_." He sighed, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

"No one _deserves_ to live like this! Look at him!"

"Okay so I won't shoot him; but I bet he doesn't know anything else…and look! The guards kept him entertained at least" he pointed at the screen, "Some people spend their whole lives like this, and he doesn't even have to worry about stopping the show to take a piss." He chuckled.

* * *

Meat stared curiously at the two while they argued. They looked like the people on _Cybercop or Beat: Seattle Nights._ Did this mean they were runners? Meat smiled and swam excitedly. This was the best show ever! Even Dave was getting into it!

"See?! He wants out!" Pits argued, looking over a small console on the side of the canister.

"I don't _care_!"

* * *

Light returned to Dave's eyes, but only half as painful as before he woke up. The ringing in his ears was still there though.

He heard the argument while Dave struggled to find Meat, who looked thoroughly entertained – dammit, this isn't fake.

Dave looked around the room. His eyes focused on the girl with the pink shaved head. She was still in the Matrix, and convulsing, with blood running out of her nose. Oops.

He had to concentrate harder to look for his gun. Damn this floor is cold, he thought. Eventually he felt the cold slide in his fingers and he pulled it close and struggled to put the grip in his hands.

Looking over at the pair, they reminded him of his first marriage….yeah, these two were definitely married. He gave out a hoarse, blood-filled laugh.

* * *

Jitters stopped his argument, turned to the laughter and approached Dave. "What the frag are you laughing at?" he pointing his Ingram at the guard.

"I got it!" Pits said excitedly. The top of the vat began to open.

The man standing over Dave looked down the row, "Feel better now? Hopefully Jax gets those fragging files soon."

* * *

Meat looked up at the empty ceiling. He didn't know what to do. Was this Dave and Bill's way of letting him out? Maybe he can sit down on the couch and eat popflakes like they did. So exciting!

But Dave wasn't moving. This isn't like how the shows did jokes. And where's Bill? This was how they showed….real bad guys! Dave was HURT!

* * *

"Look he can get out now. You can go back to the Ale-and-Tail and tell all your slave-girls that you did a good deed for the downtrodden." Pits said; her back to Meat. She walked over to Dave and pointed her Ares Predator at his head.

"_You_ deserve to be locked in a vat! How can you come here every day and be a part of such evil?" She spat at Dave, "I hate all you male oppressors and your corporate heterocage-"

The staccato of suppressed submachine gun fire cut-off Pits and she jumped back. Bullets ripped through Dave's chest and his body went limp.

"DAMMIT! I'm sick of hearing that stupid shit!" Jitters said to Pits. "It doesn't matter how pretty you are if you're just bitter all the time!"

* * *

NNNGGGOOOHHH" Meat cried as he lunged out of the vat. His body wasn't used to the movement; but he was filled with intense energy and strength, at seeing Dave's death. Before Jitters could bring his Ingram Smartgun X up to meet Meat, the clone was on top of him.

Both men were augmented. The street sam's wires were cheap, used, and installed in a low-end clinic located in a dark alley deep in the Barrens. He didn't have the scrip to afford much else. Unbeknownst to Meat, he was 'more human than human'; but it was obvious to Jitters and Pits.

Jitters felt the wind escape his lungs as he hit the floor. He tried to twist out of the way but the clone was as strong as a troll and faster than a wired elf. Over and over Meat pounded the man's face until it gave way. Some might say it resembled the aftermath of a Halloweener's Pumpkin Bash; or a dropped jar of salsa.

Pits screamed and held her pistol out as she backed away. "JAX! JAX! JAX!" she repeated; but the young girl was motionless with blood coming out of her ears and nose.

Pits, appraising the situation, slowly stepped towards the door.

"Stay back!" She told Meat, before turning towards the door and running away, firing her pistol wildly into the lab walls.

* * *

Meat cried and held Dave's body. His tears dried away when he stared curiously at the street sam's gun. Picking it up he realized, "this was _the_ gun used in _Chrome Samurai Part 1 and 2, and 3, and 4, AND 5_!"

Immediately he grabbed a new clip from the headless body. He pushed the gun's external release, re-inserted the clip, and racked the slide; the sound of an unfired round hitting the wet floor. Meat's face was shining with a wide smile.

* * *

Soon after, Meat was dressed in a long black armored coat, with some stained blood around the collar, carrying the very same pistol that Chase the _Errant Knight_ did! He was still sad inside about Dave, but he did find a good place to bury him inside of his home. There was even a long casket with dirt in it! Well it was like a casket, only the dirt was inside, not outside. And there were plants, but they were dead too, so he buried them with Dave. He didn't think Dave would mind.

But WOW he even has his own sword! Now he can be_ just like the trids! _


End file.
